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My Thought Machine
You know how our minds never stop producing thoughts? In fact, in order to meditate, we actually have to focus our attention on something else like our breathing, or a mantra, or some guided imagery in order to try to clear the mind. It reminds me of clouds going by in the sky. They attract…
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You Gotta Meet Me Half Way
I recently was talking with a golf buddy of my late husband who commented on how I’m not reaching out for help, like when the hurricane came through, or to the women of our social group to get together, including his wife. He wanted to be helpful and said ,”You know, you’ve gotta meet us…
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My Favorite Trick-or-Treater
On Halloween night, I set up a front window next to my front door with a string of Halloween twinkling lights around it and my basket of candy inside. I wanted to greet all the kids that would be trick or treating from that window so I wouldn’t have to open the door, especially later…
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10 Months, 10 Days
Grieving is crazy inconsistent, and so many factors decide how one’s personal journey will unfold. At first, of course, the challenge to get up out of bed feels like a lesson in mental survival. The endless, black hole that grabs your heart can’t be compared to anything else in life. Death of a life-long partner…
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My Granddaughter’s Wedding
Oh, my, what a roller coaster of emotions this past weekend wedding was for me. My late husband, in spite of so many health conditions, tried so hard to stay alive to attend our granddaughter’s wedding. He promised her as a newborn that he would dance with me at her wedding, but passed away a…
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JUST CHANGING FORM ON OUR ETERNAL JOURNEY
I am grateful for the almost 54 years my late husband and I had together before he transitioned, but simultaneously just so sad. I even feel selfish as I admit I wanted more…it wasn’t enough. How could 19,775 days not be enough? When it’s so good, I guess, especially at the end. We always loved…
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On my To-Do List: Do Nothing
One of the hardest things for me to do over the years is nothing…to get out of my past and future and just be in the present moment. I remember talking with my spiritual mentor right before a vacation one year, and she suggested I try to be still and appreciate the moment a few…
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His Warm Clothes
I headed out driving to the library on this beautiful summer morning, and I saw the small bag of my late husband’s nylon sports shirts sitting on the seat beside me where I put them to remind me to take them to the Goodwill drop off site. I had tried a couple days before but…
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Hurricane Gratitude
Recently, one of the biggest hurricanes in our history came through my area, and I was so scared for the entire week before. The news was all about Hurricane Ian…a cat 4 headed straight for me. The good part about being so scared, so mobilized into action, that it left little time for sadness. I…
