TALES FROM THE BOBBI LAMA

I often speak about the glass half full as a goal, especially as I grieve the loss of my husband. Reminding myself to be grateful for the 54 years we had is certainly easier said than done, but I’m working on it. And today, January 1st, I give myself that reminder again as a New Year’s resolution because it truly does reset my day, as do all of my thoughts. And I’m not denying my negative emotions, just not dwelling on them – as best I can.

In addition to finding the positive this next year, I also decided to eliminate those things in my life that I’m ready to release. One is judgement…judgement of how I think things should be…because things happen for reasons beyond me so they just are what they are without my input. As for relationships in particular, I need to remind myself that all people, even the most angry, negative, or aggressive people in my life, are a composite of all the intitial downloads of their upbringing (parents, religion, culture, neighbors, teachers, etc.) as well as all the positive and negative events they had to face in their lives. Every single person I know has had a journey of lessons making them who they are today – including myself. My half-full glass thinking encourages me to see us all as benefitting one another for our various degrees of friendship, love or lessons we provide each other, making us all gifts serving one another’s growth.

A second type of release for my list of resolutions is that of the beliefs I have held about myself. I’m so ready to let go of who I thought I should be, what I expected to accomplish, and what I thought I needed to have become to be worthy of others. This isn’t to say I have no purpose or any expectations for myself at all. I just want to make space for growth and be rid of the nagging “oughtas and shouldas” that were my lifetime navigation tools. Besides… my priorities have changed. Being a kind person to others matters most to me now, not accomplishments. And “being kind” is not meant to be in the sense of people pleasing, but simply putting good energy into the world… recognized or not… into our world – the one we all share.

Working on being more positive, compassionate, and kind to myself and others feels like a more worthy effort for me for 2026, (and it sure makes me happier than my usual resolution of losing weight by getting more exercise!)

What are yours?