TALES FROM THE BOBBI LAMA

It’s a funny thing when you write a book and you first receive back the suggestions from the develpmental editor. It feels like criticism of your creative product…”your baby.” It’s as if they commented about moving their nose to the top of their head and suggest that one eye should be on the chin. Your kneejerk reaction is one of defense…wanting to explain why you put the nose and eyes where you did. You realize you also get the same feeling as receiving a bad grade from your teacher, like you wrote something badly and you now need to fix your “mistakes.”

In actuality, it just takes a little while to change your attitude and remind yourself why it’s a wonderful service. And when you get this insight with a more realistic understanding of what’s going on, the defense disappears. My publisher reminded me today that a writer’s first draft is for him or her to just get the story out of them. The next draft or revision is for the readers, and the editor lets you know what you can do to make it even better for them. It turns out, that’s a real gift! Once you write, you don’t always have distance anymore. You believe you just said what message you wanted to get out there. If an unbiased reader can tell you where he or she didn’t “get it” so you can add or redo, It is a great opportunity to get it right… for others.

So many experiences that we have can very often be seen as gifts…gifts of information if nothing else. I see relationships, that don’t work out, as relief for the two people making that decision. For a career goal that one discovers isn’t for them afterall, relieves them of the mental commitment. That leaves them free to look for the opportunity to change direction for one that could be the perfect fit. And as I process my grief from the passing of my husband a year and a half ago, I am realizing the time I now have available in my life to take on new interests like writing.

It’s all in the way we look at things. Perception can make all the difference!