TALES FROM THE BOBBI LAMA

I know someone who’s had cancer, open heart surgery, 17 other surgeries and several major losses in her life, but has more excitement and enthusiasm for life than most people I know! When her challenges are compared to most of us, it reminds me to count my blessings. And yet, I understand how we can get all upset when we face even one medical procedure, illness, or any other single major problem or loss. What I’ve noticed recently, though, is how big so many people make small problems, with suffering proported to be a 10 on the Richter scale. Even differences of opinion can consume people to extremes damaging their health and relationships. The truth is, for every event in our lives, it’s truly the thought that counts. It’s how we perceive the relative importance or impact of the challenge…choosing to see the lesson in it, or to perseverate and grow the suffering. As the Dalai Lama said, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” The process of putting things in perspective does take some time to get from how badly it impacts you at first, to how you can adapt, to how you absorb it into your new normal and move on with it woven into the stronger you. It starts out as a big deal until eventually it’s not.

I still remember how my late husband was able to keep things light in spite of pain and serious limitations with almost every aspect of life. Type I Diabetes for five decades did a lot to increase the severe pain (neuropathy) in his feet and legs as well as disintegrate his vision and systems; Leukemia and chemo took his taste, strength, and energy; and congestive heart failure reduced his stamina and mobility. With all of this (and more), he never complained and just assumed it was his lot in life.He gave 100% to max out his life and career in every way he could to adapt and succeed. His drive and sense of humor made him fun to be around right up to when he passed on. He always reminded me that happiness is a choice. It’s up to us to decide if something is big, or if it’s not…with our attitude creating our own happiness. He certainly kept it all in perspective!