TALES FROM THE BOBBI LAMA

There are so many ways of communicating now, that picking up the phone to just catch up is the least favored in a typical, working person’s busy day. It takes time, something that is a real commodity. But it’s also a loss. There’s nothing like time invested to get to really understand another person and the path they are walking. Being understood is also one of the greatest gifts we can receive as well as the gift of someone’s time. Relationships thicken with conversation offering a more sincere depth of compassion. It’s no doubtedly richer. You learn more, you feel more, you process more and become clearer, fleshing out the impacts of life with a phone conversation. With LinkedIn, Instagram, blog posts, Facebook messaging, Twitter, or texts, you just can’t get all of that special energy. And remember when you called a utility, business, or doctor’s office and a live person answered the phone? That is disappearing, too.

I admit, texting and forms of social messaging have their place. They conveniently allow for time and distance differences between receiving and responding. And a succinct message can be shared so efficiently when a whole phone conversation is really not necessary. (On occasion though, I have caused more misunderstanding even in a short note if spellcheck decides to make words I don’t want over the ones I thought I typed.) And don’t get me started on what crazy things happen with voice-to-text!

Many studies have shown positive health value (mental and physical) of our regular connections in life. Our immune systems hum along when we’re happily sharing personal time with someone we care about. Longeveity studies also list personal connections right up there with diet, sleep, and exercise. And since my husband passed away, I can testify to how much better I feel after an endorphin-raising conversation with a friend or relative, sprinkled with laughter here and there.

Texting is easy, convenient and fast, but I have started back making more occasional phone calls to friends and family… just to really connect and catch up. I want to hear the tone in their voices, their sparkels of laughter, and flesh out how their lives are really going. I just want to “send a better message”…one that says I’m calling instead of sending a “How are you doing?” text. I want to let these special people know they are special even if some time has gone by between contacts…they are worth that extra effort, worth my time, and worth making that more personal connection. The quality of a live-talk phone connection just raises up to a much higher frequency and a greater reward.